Vilequesse shipping
by Bryn'ryo'ishtar
Summary: This may or may not be a one shot. Skulduggery and Valkyrie go out on a mission, but their alter egos take over and set things into their own hands. XD. Rated M for mature.
1. Chapter 1

**The rights to Skulduggery Pleasant in all its awesomeness goes to the Golden God of Greatness, Derek Landy, the best writer in the world. I like to get reviews, but please be nice. **

Valkyrie could feel the blood slip from her body. She was lying on a stake, in the middle of a pine forest, far from any humans. The ground was slanted and the trees randomly threw water down on her, annoying her as she was dying. Even without the water, she was feeling a bit uncomfortable. She was lying on top of a stake, a stake had been thrown, ironically, by a vampire and Valkyrie could feel herself starting to get cold.

The stake was sharp, wooden, and twisted up into a deathly sharp point. It'd pierced through her easily, since the jacket she'd been wearing had gotten tangled up and stuck in a tree. With a vampire coming at her, and the jacket not covering her face, she'd had no choice but to leave it there. The vampire, half burnt by a fireball she'd thrown and limping a great deal, staggered over to her. It was still wearing its human skin, a motherly middle-aged woman with too carefully maintained hair. The motherly woman opened her mouth and snarled at Valkyrie.

Valkyrie stared back, the pain making her head throb and things go all blurry. Valkyrie opened her mouth to shout for Skulduggery, but two vampires had carried him off, and she could hear his gun cracking with bullets in the distance.

She couldn't speak above a whisper, but knew that the vampire heard her. "You're going to regret this." Valkyrie said, almost pityingly.

The vampire gave a guttural laugh. "With Sir Poe Victory leading us? I'll never regret joining him. Don't you see? He's got the largest colony of vampires in history, and he's one of the most powerful vampires alive." The vampire squatted next to Valkyrie, seemingly more in control of herself now. She looked the dark, spreading stain on Valkyrie lustfully, and said, "And we're just going to keep on killing mortals and sorcerers alike, believe me, until there's nothing left." The dear, motherly vampire leaned over.

"Now die." The vampire said to Valkyrie, and it raised another wicked, dark stake in the air. It smiled with a beautiful fierceness down at Valkyrie and Valkyrie's hand raised weakly for a moment, before falling back down, against her will. The vampire's stake raised and then…

Then Darquesse leaned forward off the stake and squashed the vampire's head. It—the body—made a thick, _thunk_ as it slide down the ground, next to her.

Darquesse wiped the blood and various juices on her hand down on the pine floor, and the pine nettles stuck to her. She sighed. Rainwater dripped on her. She held up a hand and black fire engulfed the trees and the moisture, and there wasn't enough left of the pine nettles to be even dust. The stake melted into her bloodstream, but that was no good, so she purged it from her body and then to release some temper, burned that into nothingness also.

She stood, repaired the various holes and injuries around her body and took a step. She moved about a foot, seemed to realize that it was going too slow for her and so she started running and used the magic to make her go faster than a cheetah. The wind whipped her face, and the trees might have also, so she just destroyed them as she went along.

Running slow was fun at first, but she had things to do before her conscious reasserted itself, so she leaned forward and decided to move as fast as a bullet, in the direction of the shots she'd heard.

She stopped suddenly, exactly at the point where Skulduggery was being pinned down by not two—but five vampires. She recognized Poe Victory among them, his thick, solid shoulders and mushed up, bulldog face.

"Hello." She said plainly, standing to the side. They were focused on Skulduggery and their heads snapped around with surprise when they heard her. They snarled at her and she smiled at them. They were funny.

"I'm going to kill you." She said with cheer, smiling emptily.

Poe paused a moment then laughed, throwing his head back. "If you think you can accomplish what all the other people who've tried to—"

"I'd listen to what you're saying, but I don't really care. I'm just going to kill you, activate Lord Vile and have a little fun, that's all." She said, her eyes flashed yellow like Baron Vengeance's had, and Poe Victory erupted.

"Oh, boy." Skulduggery said. "Valkyrie almost died didn't she?"

"She would have," Darquesse said lightly, "but I saved her. Are you grateful?"

"You didn't save her." He said. "She saved herself, really. I'm always grateful that she can save herself, though I wish I'd been there to help. I don't want to see you getting hurt."

"I want to see you getting hurt," Darquesse said pointedly, and Skulduggery shrugged.

"Well, that's a whole different cup of tea, isn't it?"

Then Darquesse held up her hand and the shadows constricted around the remaining vampire's necks, their bodies dropped and then it was just she and he, all alone together.

"Turn into Lord Vile." Darquesse ordered.

"No." Skulduggery said petulantly. "I won't. I don't want to see me hurting you. That's all Lord Vile does."

"Turn into Lord Vile," she said again, and raised a hand to smash Skulduggery down. Her hand started to hesitate. Like it didn't want to hurt Skulduggery. Great. Valkyrie was coming back.

"Vile," Darquesse muttered, and waved the other hand without thinking. Skulduggery flinched slightly away, but all that hit him was mist. Darquesse sighed and turned her head. Valkyrie had control of that arm, too, did she?

Well, it didn't matter. Darquesse was still ultimately in control. She focused her mind to a point that Valkyrie wouldn't be able to see. She focused her eyes on Skulduggery and then—

Darkness flowed and whipped around him. She could feel Skulduggery's own surprise, above it all.

"Hey—" Skulduggery began to protest, and then it was Lord Vile, not Skulduggery and Darquesse smiled.

"Welcome back, Lord Vile." She said pleasantly, and because it was Vile, not Skulduggery, Valkyrie took a step back in her mind.

He nodded his head curtly to her, then shadows wrapped around Darquesse's arms. Darquesse smiled pleasantly, and blocked out the pain as the shadows wretched her arms in the opposite direction they were supposed to go. Just as quickly as it'd happened, she healed herself.

"I quite like how you managed to take over your conscious so _easily,_ by the way. It's something I can respect."

She heard a whisper and struggled to make it out. "Not easy," Vile murmured. Darquesse nodded and smiled.

"I can imagine. Skulduggery's a strong man, isn't he? Of course he is. He's you. I wonder what he was thinking when he allowed you to take over."

"None of your business." Vile murmured, and then like vines, the shadows burst forward from under the earthy ground and wrapped around Darquesse's feet. She attempted to lift them, but found herself unable to move.

"Strong," she murmured, pleased. Then she moved her hand and Vile was hit from behind with a wall of darkness of Darquesse's own, and he moved forward, closer to her. He stepped forward without needing any more encouragement and slammed a fist into her face. Her head snapped backward, and made a funny snapping sound. She healed that immediately, just as Lord Vile shoved a knife made of shadows into her lungs. She attempted to heal that, but his shadows were in the way. She growled. This wasn't the type of fun she'd wanted to have.

Her left arm moved forward, and twisted, becoming a claw that slashed through the better part of Lord Vile's chest plate. She blinked, and caught a flash of skin under the darkness before his chest plate turned back.

"You…" She paused to think about and reached out her senses. She heard a loud, strong heartbeat coming from him. "You have your flesh back when you're Lord Vile?"

He tilted his head, like this was news to him. She grinned at him. Fantastic. She gathered her magic around her, slashing at the shadows, and Lord Vile held still and moved a hand up, calling more power to the shadows. Gathering her magic was just a diversion, of course: one that, frustratingly, didn't manage to break her footholds.

Then she singled out a small stream of her magic and found a hole in his armor, and curled her magic underneath it. Lord Vile stiffened. She sharpened them, preparing to slip it under his skin and destroy him, but…

Her magic slid up his chest and she blinked. A teenage thought filled her head, and she bit back a grin.

Lord Vile straightened, and she heard him murmur something that she didn't catch. He moved to her fast, and grabbed her waist, so hard it would have hurt her if she were anyone else. He raised a hand and a shadow stabbed through her chest. She healed herself and laughed, and slipped her actual fingers under his chest plate, edging it away. She traced a sharp dagger across his chest, drawing blood.

He moved closer, and slammed into her, pulling her down. Suddenly her feet restraints were gone and in their place were hand restraints. Darquesse grinned at him.

Valkyrie woke up in a lake nearby that forest with the vampire, pretty much naked, hanging over some rocks. She couldn't remember anything after killing those vampires, and she blushed to wonder how long she'd been lying there.

She struggled to get the sand under her feet, the water felt mucky and she wondered where Skulduggery went. Up along the shore of the beach, her black clothes laid in wait for her. Hesitating slightly, she ran up and put them on as quickly as she could. Valkyrie heard a moan somewhere to her left. She looked; saw huge black boulders, some of which looked like they'd been recently smashed. She walked over, jumped up over, and saw Skulduggery with his head in his hands. His bony chest was uncovered, just a skeleton rib cage, and his pants looked like they'd been hastily put on.

"Skulduggery? Are you OK?"

He murmured, "My… head… hurts, so much." He looked up. "How are you? Do you remember anything?"

"Nothing beyond killing Poe's vampires. That's over, huh?"

"Correct," He said, and paused. "It's odd. I've never forgotten anything from the time of being Lord Vile before. Maybe I got my head smacked too hard."

"Too be honest, I can't remember anything either."

"Hmm. I wonder…"

"If Lord Vile and Darquesse are hiding something from us?"

"Exactly."

She looked at him, and couldn't quite piece together Darquesse and waking up naked on a beach. "Nah. What could they possibly hide?"

**XD. I haven't decided if this is a one shot or not yet. It was kind of fun to write.**


	2. Chapter 2 Be Very Quiet

**Yay! My one-shot is continued, even if that wasn't my original intention. Thanks for all your comments, you guys rock.**

Valkyrie felt the air slip through her fingers as she fell, all her elemental training and preparation gone to waste as her magic failed her. There was a ring cutting off circulation on her finger that was sucking away all her magic, all her hopes of saving herself. Darkness billowed around her, following her down, but eerily not helping her; if she was Darquesse, it'd obey her need to be caught and held aloof. The shadows ignored her feeble commands with ease. The memory of Solomon Wreath hung in the spaces of her mind that were still thinking clearly. If she had continued her lessons with him, maybe this wouldn't be happening, she thought darkly. On another finger, a smaller ring cut into her skin, it's mundane golden glow and simple jewel sucking away even her necromancer powers. It was Paddy's ring, the one that'd made her so helpless…

_You don't have to be helpless. _Came the tempting whisper, out of Valkyrie's mouth, so close to her soul it felt like it was being whispered into her ear. _Let go of your humanity, and I'll make it _all _stop…_

The only thing she could do was scream, as she denied the voice control, as her demise got closer and closer, and then at the edge of her mind, an idea as normal and mortal as the time when she was a child. Valkyrie sucked in a gasp and she forced her eyes open, shoving the dream and the fear into the corner of her mind. She lay on her own empty bed sheet in her own home, her blankets kicked to the ground, her ears suddenly straining to catch an echo of any noise. If she had let out that scream, her parents would come running, and she couldn't explain the fears she had to them. Though the "falling dream" was something a mortal might have, and they'd understand that aspect, what they wouldn't understand was the terror that stayed with her as she lay across her bed.

The part of her that was Darquesse had manipulated Valkyrie's confusion and fear, and even though it was only a dream… in that dream Valkyrie had saw the fault line between her sanity and her destiny. Her self-control was brutally slim, she admitted to herself as she swung her legs over the side of her bed. Her toes touched the smooth floor without a whisper and she ran a hand through her hair and let out a quiet breath. The important part, she told herself, was that she didn't change. Anything else didn't really matter. Becoming Darquesse was no more a temptation than it had been yesterday, or the day before.

But it was almost always constant.

_Should we find it? Where are they?_

Moving on habit, never mind that the clock said it was only two a.m., her feet navigated her around her bedroom to her door, her bare legs brushing against each other. She pulled her tank top down over her navel, where it had slid up and let her eyes take their time to adjust to the darkness. She passed her sister's room, her parents' room, and the bathroom. She kept on walking, her throat parched and raw. She paused. It was odd; her throat felt like it'd been ripped up with screams of terror, a familiar sensation to Valkyrie. She felt like she could remember hearing herself scream, but if she had she would have woken up both her parents and Alice.

_Where are they? _Her conscious murmured, and she turned on her heels to peek back into her parents' bedroom. She saw their sleeping forms, and turned and peeked into Alice's rooms. Feeling very maternal suddenly, she walked up to her baby sister's cradle, which Alice was almost out-growing, and reached down to touch her soft locks of dark hair. Alice stirred in her sleep and although not an outward emotion twitched on her face, inside Valkyrie glowed.

_Where is it? _The voice murmured, something it didn't allow Valkyrie to understand.

She left her sister's room, and began to make her way downstairs. There was a simple explanation to all of this. She'd imagined she screamed. Her throat was raw maybe because she was developing a fever. She stretched her arms out on both sides and reached up to get a drink of water, her tight t-shirt rising up past her underwear, exposing her stomach. Her fingers fumbled in the darkness for the cool glass, and as she pulled it down, she could feel something cutting into the skin on her finger. The hair on the back of her neck pricked and she gazed down at her necromancer ring, something she was sure she'd taken off. She muscles tightened and she slid back down to her feet, staring at her cup and the necromancer ring. Inside of it echoed her scream, audible to only her ears and…

_Where is he? _

She heard the quiet footsteps of someone totally certain, quietly confidant and familiar. She heard Skulduggery's footsteps in the quiet, but it lacked something. The familiar brush of his suits, the ways he'd clear his throat if he ever wanted her attention. Valkyrie froze, her fingers forgetting about the cup, and shadows—no hers, someone else's—slide around her body, slipping down her bare legs and up underneath her clothes, playfully stroking the skin on her waist, daring to inch further up, and then go back down.

Valkyrie swallowed audibly, goose bumps travelling all across her arms and legs, reminding her of her clothes—or lack of. Hope, blessed hope, made her ask in a voice too loud in the darkness, "Skulduggery?"

Nothing answered except the quiet footsteps of the intruder in her home, walking closer and closer to her. Her shoulders tightened and she began to spin around, and meaning to find some form of defense to fight against him, when he began to whisper to her and she froze.

"You're not the one that called me. Where's Darquesse?"

Valkyrie turned to face him bravely, the shadows playing like an art form over her body ebbing. "I am Darquesse."

"Yes…" It came out like a sigh from the-outline-that-was-Lord-Vile, "but you are also Valkyrie Cain, the one that belongs to the light… To Skulduggery Pleasant… you didn't call out to me…"

Valkyrie swallowed, her fear wound tight around her. There were questions that she had for Lord Vile, but she didn't want to risk his wrath, didn't want him to come close to her family. "Then… will you go away?"

His voice was closer to her, now, deeper and quieter. She began to make out a face… (Skulduggery's face! Her foolish mind shouted) and his lips curled just a tiny bit up at the sides. "Ha-ha… No."

Her mouth went dry, and she forced herself to ask, "Wh-why would you stay?" Her back hit the cold countertop and she hadn't even realized she'd been backing up.

Shadows, emboldened, began to twirl and play up her legs again, and she wondered if Vile even realized what he was doing. Sometime shadows listened more-so to emotions rather than orders, and if that was the case…

"Well, you give me a reason or two…" Valkyrie shivered, and felt heat coil up in her stomach. "I know Darquesse well, we've spent many nights together, and I'll admit I enjoy her… but I've often been curious. About _you_, Valkyrie. You belong to Skulduggery, yet he wouldn't burden his love onto you like this. I have no such qualms…" His voice was on her neck, and she felt his knee bump hers, and it gave her such a shock that she jumped.

"I'd tell Skulduggery." She said as quickly as she could, "he'd never let you out again if you do anything to me."

"You think Skulduggery knows I'm out, and can stop me? Darling, you place too much faith in the other-me. Don't worry, I just want to satisfy my curiosity for the night, just want to see Darquesse squirm in fear."

His tongue darted out to her neck and she gasped. She had to find a way out, had to get her cell-phone, call Skulduggery… "Bastard, stop licking me." Valkyrie said without thought, as though she was talking to Fletcher instead of _Lord Vile. _

Lord Vile chuckled. "Distracting your plans of escape? You can go ahead and turn into Darquesse here, only you might want to consider that your parents are only just upstairs… and, you couldn't bare to see them hurt, could you Valkyrie? If you turned into Darquesse, I doubt I could stop you even if I wanted to."

Valkyrie gasped, fear thudding in her heart. He was right; all she could do was endure it… and kick Skulduggery ass in the morning. Shadows played around her, combing her hair and abstractly removing her clothing. His body pressed against her and she turned her head to the side, helpless in a very real way. She was helpless, but not totally unhappy. Her fingers began to curl around Lord Vile's back…

"The only thing you can do…" He murmured, "Is be very, very quiet…"


End file.
